There’s a particular kind of overwhelm that doesn’t come from one big thing.
It comes from lots of small hurts, disappointments, and quiet absences piling up at once. It feels like death by a thousand cuts. You’re functioning, but only just. You want to do everything and nothing at the same time.
If you’re reading this because you feel like you don’t quite fit anywhere right now, you’re not alone. And you’re not broken.
First, Name What’s Happening
When we’re spiralling, our brains tell us stories. Big, heavy ones. “I don’t belong.” “Everyone else has their people.” “If I don’t reach out, no one will.” These thoughts feel true when we’re exhausted or grieving, but they’re usually a sign of emotional overload, not reality.
This isn’t a personal failing. It’s what happens when too many emotional things land at once and the nervous system goes into threat mode.
Slow Everything Down
The instinct when you feel like this is to fix everything immediately. Reach out to everyone. Make sense of every relationship. Decide what it all means.
But this moment doesn’t need solutions. It needs regulation.
Start small. Sit with both feet on the floor. Take a slow breath out, longer than the breath in. Name what you can see around you. Let your body catch up with the fact that you are safe, even if you are hurting.
Separate Facts From Feelings
One of the kindest things you can do for yourself when you feel this low is to gently separate what’s actually happening from what your mind is telling you it means.
Facts are neutral. Someone hasn’t checked in. A friend is busy. You couldn’t make it to something because of family commitments.
The meaning we attach to those facts is where the pain often grows. Feeling left out does not mean you are unwanted. Being tired of reaching out does not mean you are unlovable.
Choose One Thing, Not Everything
You don’t need to turn your life around today.
For the next day or two, choose just one small thing that helps you feel a little steadier. A walk. A shower with music. Writing a few lines in a notebook. Tidying one surface.
Then, if it feels possible, choose one gentle point of connection. Not a deep conversation. Not an explanation. Just a message that says, “Thinking of you” or “I’m having a quiet day.”
Small actions rebuild trust with yourself.
If You’re a Parent Feeling This Way
Many parents worry that when they don’t feel like they fit in, their children won’t either. That fear cuts deep.
Your children don’t need a perfectly connected social life. They need a parent who models honesty, self-compassion, and rest. Feeling this way does not mean you are failing them. It means you are human.
Remember This
You are not invisible because people are distracted.
You are not unimportant because someone didn’t ask how you were.
You are not behind because your life looks quieter than others right now.
Some seasons are about showing up. Others are about holding yourself gently until the weight eases.
If today is one of the heavy ones, that’s okay. You don’t have to carry it alone. Writing it down counts as reaching out too.
This blog is becoming my journal. And this entry is a reminder to myself as much as anyone else: pause, breathe, and take it one small step at a time.
