Read this when everything feels like too much and you’re convinced you are, somehow, uniquely bad at being a person.
Read this when eating feels optional, water feels like admin, and making a phone call feels emotionally equivalent to being chased by a woolly mammoth down a hill, through a stream, and directly into your own nervous breakdown.
I’ve had enough therapy to know this state very well.
And I’ve had enough therapy to tell you - confidently - that this is not a personal failure.
Here’s the unsexy truth therapy drills into you
When you feel like you can’t look after yourself, it’s not because you’re lazy, broken, or “regressing”.
It’s because your nervous system has gone feral.
Your brain is tired. Your body is overwhelmed. Your capacity is in the bin. And instead of asking for a life overhaul, your system is screaming for the basics.
Not growth. Not insight. Not a new routine.
Basics.
You are not broken... you are an under-watered houseplant with anxiety
This is the bit therapy repeats until you roll your eyes and then, one day, it clicks:
You are a complicated houseplant with a nervous system.
And right now, you probably need:
- a short walk (outside, preferably, like a real mammal)
- a glass of water
- something vaguely nutritious
- sleep
- to get the thoughts out of your head before they eat you alive
Yes. That last one is crucial.
If you’re isolating yourself because of “The Incident”
You know the one.
A conversation from weeks ago. A moment where you overshared. Trauma-dumped. Said too much to the wrong person. Gave context no one asked for.
Now you:
- replay it on a loop
- decide everyone hates you
- delete your messages
- avoid replying “for a bit”
- consider rerouting your entire life to avoid the school gates
This is not you being dramatic.
This is shame activating your nervous system’s “go feral and hide in a bush” setting.
Talking is regulation. Writing is regulation.
One of the most useful things therapy ever taught me:
If the thought stays in your head, your nervous system thinks the threat is ongoing.
You have to move it out.
Talking does that. Writing does that. Ranting into a notebook absolutely does that.
If you can talk to someone safe, great.
If you can’t - or you’re convinced you’ve already said too much to everyone - journalling does the same job without witnesses.
You don’t need insight. You don’t need a lesson. You don’t need to be kind or coherent.
You just need to get it out of your head and onto literally anything else.
Why journalling works when you’ve gone socially feral
Writing tells your nervous system:
Right. This has been acknowledged. You can stop screaming now.
That’s why messy, repetitive, sweary journalling works.
It’s not self-care.
It’s crowd control.
Do this instead of spiralling
Not all of it. Not perfectly.
Just one.
- Walk for five minutes
- Drink water like a grown mammal
- Eat something warm or nourishing
- Write exactly what you’re thinking without censoring it
- Lie down and let your nervous system stand down
You don’t need to earn this.
You don’t need to “deserve” rest.
You are not avoiding life - you are regulating so you can return to it.
Final reminder from someone who’s done the work (and is still feral)
You do not need to solve your entire personality today.
You do not need to disappear forever because you said too much once.
You do not need to be impressive while dysregulated.
You need water. Food. Movement. Sleep. And somewhere safe to put the thoughts.
You are not broken.
You are a human with a nervous system that thinks kid's party's are mammoths.
Act accordingly.
